Ballet was my first love, the grace and the poise so beautiful. I wanted to be like the pretty figure dancing inside of the jewelry box. It kind of feels like I am now, except the barre has been turned on its side.
I find those same traits dancing in 6 inch heels as I did dancing in pointe shoes, and honestly these hurt less although you wouldn’t know it by the bruises I seem to accumulate in class. I get them less the more I practice the moves. My skin gets tougher as it does when we age and learn something new.
I sometimes forget that we are simply souls living in meat suits, that we only really get one chance at this life of ours. I lived much of mine in fear. And trust me when I tell you that hanging upside down on a pole is scary! I’m no longer interested in hindering myself because something bad might happen. I would rather follow my heart, even if it sometimes gets hurt.
Our society teaches us to follow logic as opposed to intuition, to favor the masculine aspects of ourselves instead of the feminine. It gets so looked down upon and yet we all crave it so much. We all want to be seen and heard in our entirety, but we also want to be accepted. So we cut parts of us off. We turn ourselves upside down. We hide.
Denying ourselves the truth of our nature only leads to self-loathing, and that’s no way to live. Learning to love yourself isn’t easy. It’s just not something we are typically taught how to do. I like to think I’m getting better at it, and it does help to know that I’ve got people cheering me on from the sidelines. More importantly though, I rather like myself. I feel like that’s as good of a place to start as any.
Mad love, Jenna
