There was a full moon out, and it was Friday the 13th. Never one to be superstitious, I really didn’t think much of it, until the fireball. We were all getting ready for the debut of our newest project, a food truck, when the propane accident occured.
An unknown leak caused gas to build up in the food truck. When we lit the pilot light on the fryer, a fireball the size of a beach ball tumbled out from underneath. We never actually caught fire, but the heat was enough to cause major damage.
I spent the next two days in the hospital with second degree burns on both of my feet and ankles. It was physically the most painful thing that I have ever had to go through. But the mental and emotional pain that came after this was something that I never expected.
When I was released from the hospital, Ben was in charge of my cleanings. Some days were harder than others, and showers were unbearable. Baths are a no go according to the doctors. I remember screaming at Ben one day that I didn’t want to do this anymore. But we got through that.
Bedrest.
I was on bedrest for two weeks. This gave me a lot of time to think about myself, where I was going, and what I truly wanted out of life. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but I definitely knew that restaurants weren’t it. And once I started asking myself some really tough questions, I realized that I had been spending my whole life doing things that other people wanted me to do, or doing things because I thought that I was “supposed to do them.”
I started questioning everything that I thought I knew. My core beliefs just didn’t make sense to me anymore. It all felt completely not me. This started me on a long journey of self-discovery.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein
I wanted more out of life. I wanted to be one of those people that wakes up everyday excited about their purpose in life. I didn’t want to just work the Monday to Friday grind. And I wanted to finally do all the things that I wanted to do for me, not for anybody else. But what was that?
A Year Later.
Everything makes a lot more sense to me now. I was missing all of the signs that the Universe was putting out for me. My panic attacks turning into anxiety attacks (For more details on that, read this post.) was a huge sign that I can see now. I knew something wasn’t right at the time, but I tried to ignore it. I thought it would just go away.
I truly believe that the propane accident was the Universe telling me that I need to change directions. I was headed down the wrong path, and I was going at full speed. I simply was choosing not to listen. The Universe got its way in the end. I listened.
Now please do not misunderstand me, I still have no idea what I am doing or where any of this is going to take me. I just have this weird pull to write and share my story.
Moving Forward.
I am 100% healed, and cleared by the doctors. I now have a flame tattoo on my ankle to remind me that if I can get through that, than I can get through anything. And that is POWERFUL.
Affirmation: I owe it to the world and myself to continue on this creative journey.
Another valuable lesson: Sometimes really good things can come out of really bad situations. I never thought in a million years that I would say this, but that propane accident was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It gave me the most valuable gift of all, and that gift is me.
I hope you enjoy my Spotify playlist, On Fire.
XOXO – Jenna
