I have a love / hate relationship with semicolons. I want to get one tattooed on my body, and I refuse to write with them. I won’t use them in a sentence if I can get away with it. I have no idea where this raw hatred for this particular punctuation mark came from. I guess I simply never understood the point. We are just stacking punctuation marks on top of each other all willy-nilly now. Use a goddamned period, and make it two sentences. Use the word “and” with a comma.
First recorded in 1530-40, or somewhere in there, this Latin word originally meant “a marking.” We have morphed it into markings written to separate elements from one another, like listing separate cities and states. At this point I’m going to need you to turn that into a list with bullet points. My brain cannot handle the bunched up jumble of words you are trying to shove into that paragraph. Better yet. Make it an infographic.
Punctuate This
I swear, a lot, like a sailor some have told me. I have been asked not to swear “for the children,” which is complete bullshit. Where the hell do you think I learned it from Karen? (Not my MIL, just Karen in general. You know what I’m saying.) I learned it at school, on the school bus, at afterschool care. “I learned it from watching you, Dad.” Does anyone remember those terrible anti-drug commercials?
I am so fucking tired of everything being blamed on all these non-existent children out there. They don’t care about the children. They care about maintaining their status in the social and economic hierarchy. They care about keeping people in a lower socio-economic class than them, so that we can maintain our capitalistic society. Minimum wage jobs are simply one step above slave labor. Keep them starving, so they have no choice but to work in a shit job.
I also wonder why we spend so much time teaching our children that swearing is a bad thing. I am not out here calling everyone bitches, although some people greatly need to hear that. I use it as an exclamation point, a punctuation mark. To punctuate, yes it is an actual verb, means to give emphasis or to underline. That is exactly how I use it! We have got to get out of this nonsense puritanical programming that we are all wrapped up in.
A Story: I was out publicking one day, (I am aware that is not a real word.) and someone I know personally said to me while I was wearing my Vaccinate AF tank, “Does the AF mean all fine?” He then proceeded to laugh, like it was a joke. Now this particular person is an older male, and he is the physical embodiment of the patriarchy. When I didn’t laugh, he then proceeded to tell me that he actually knows what AF stands for, and that he was just joking. This, my friends, is the definition of patronizing. It’s not funny.
The Semicolon
In all seriousness though, this semicolon has become a symbol of hope for so many, a symbol of community that so many of us are a part of. Words are hardly ever needed. It’s more of a quiet nod, a me too, if you will. I have also been through hell and back.
I went to this place once, wanting to un-alive myself. I have had people around me try, some succeeded and some didn’t. I have pulled myself out of the quicksand, with a team of therapists, doctors, friends, and family. We get so low sometimes that we forget that we aren’t alone. We forget that we can reach out and ask for help.
Our fucked up society has made us believe otherwise. They made us believe that if we failed, that we were unworthy. I believed that programming for a very long time. I still get stuck in that spiral of self-doubt sometimes. I think we all do for that matter.
Written for a friend lost, but not forgotten.
“Grief both acknowledges what has been lost and ensures that we don’t forget what must be remembered.” – Francis Weller, author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow I remember the day I found out so vividly, except I felt so numb at the same time. All I knew was that I had to come to Cary St. For me it was like a pull, a feeling that this is where I should go. I got in the car and just drove here. I didn’t even think about it. I remember sitting in the back of the room, and slowly people just started showing up. That day we cried and came together. We felt our pain; we shared stories, got angry. I think about Travis every morning when I wake up. I had no idea that his death was going to have such an impact on me. I feel a tremendous loss. And I don’t really think that anyone other than Travis could have had that much of an impact on me. I have been trying to search for something good from this that I can grasp onto. Travis’ death was extremely shocking and tragic. But with his death brought a community, a community that’s grieving together. When I think about Travis, I think about love. With that love, he brought us together. Love was Travis’ greatest gift to the world. One person cannot get through this world alone. The fight is too hard solo. But together we can take that love that Travis inspired in all of us and share it with each other. We can carry that love forward. I am not saying that we are all going to become best friends. But maybe when we pass each other by, we can give each other a knowing nod? Travis is there. Love is there.
Mad love, Jenna
