When we enter into Aries season, we also enter into a new zodiacal year. This can be a seemingly intense transition from the oceanic depths of watery Pisces to the raging flames of fiery Aries, taking us from the Moon in tarot to the Emperor. Symbolized by the Ram, the Emperor represents the sacred masculine that resides inside all of us. Aries, which is ruled by the planet Mars, gives you insight into how you assert this masculine energy. My Mars is located in Capricorn according to my birth chart, telling me all about my personal drive and the places in which I put my energy. It also comes with a very strong warning about my tendency to judge others solely by status and prestige, and how well they can advance me in my climb to the top of the ladder. Oof! That one hit a little too close to home.
I can see how this has played out in my life in the past, stepping on others and using them on my way up the restaurant totem pole. I didn’t realize that was what I was doing at the time. I thought I was succeeding in this life, which is only partially true. I was in the eyes of others. On the outside it looked like things were going so well for me. I was advancing quickly into more prominent roles and getting raises. I was about to buy the business, building and all. Except on the inside I was dying, a slow passing piece by piece.
A man can stand anything if he can stand himself.
Anonymous
I began to question my own dreams, mainly the one about owning and operating a very specific restaurant, and I came to the conclusion that I no longer wanted it. To go even further, completing this goal went against everything that I believe in. Quite frankly it’s an abusive and demeaning environment, and I was perpetuating all of it. I began to hate myself, and the panic attacks waking me out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night were the icing on the cake.
The truth is that I have never thought myself to be good at anything else. I secretly wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t think anyone would support me in this process. My own family has been the complete opposite, screaming at me to “get a job” when my pandemic unemployment ran out. O ye of little faith? But here is what I’ve learned during all of this, and what the Emperor is really saying: You are worthy just because you are here and alive on this planet, and it is your birthright to know that. Fittingly enough Mars also rules the Tower in tarot, the Death Medicine card. We are responsible for clearing the dead roots out of our own gardens, to thank them for getting us to this point, and then releasing them. On to the next life lesson, I suppose.
The Card of Dominion
Two of Wands is here to aid us on this journey from March 21, the beginning of Aries season, to March 30. A man holds the world in his fingertips. There is a confidence that arises out of self-knowledge, out of fully comprehending who you are and how you fit into this world. This also comes with the greater realization of the fact that in order to be that person, you have to leave the comforts of the place in which you are currently standing. Destruction, as the Tower likes to remind us, is the first step toward creativity. It’s the first step in obtaining that goal you want or becoming that person you want to be.
A goal without a plan is just a wish.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Most farmers don’t just throw handfuls of seeds into the soil and pray for new growth. There is an enormous amount of work that goes into planning out the plots: the lighting, the nutrients, the watering schedule to name a few. Add that to the fact that I’m going to ignore it all completely, hoping my partner and his green thumb will take care of it. Is that one just me? It’s the same with anything we try to accomplish in life. There are a series of tasks required in order to get the thing from here to there. Just like those farmers it takes time and patience, and maybe a little bit of that prayer thrown in. Jesus was resurrected, so maybe that means the dying plant on my counter will come back to life. That one is just me too, isn’t it?
You know what you want to manifest. Now you need to figure out how. This is the fun part for me, as I actually love researching and collecting information. I adore Brené Brown’s self-prescribed job title of Research Storyteller. It’s sort of how I see myself in this world. There are so many options available to us now, thanks to the Technological Revolution. We essentially need to step into those arenas to see what we are capable of, to grab the bull by the horns. Bull? Ram? It was the closest thing I could come up with. The point is you have to fuck it up and find out for yourself. If you would like a good example of that just check out my Tik Tok. At the very least, it’s entertaining.
The Card of Virtue
Three of Wands is our guide between March 31 and April 9, gliding us right past the Fool’s Day. This is essentially the birth of the manifestation, the new beginnings that you are embarking on. We can think of this card as a “mini Chariot” card, transporting us on our way to something else. We can look out the back window and reflect on how far we’ve come in this world. At the same time we can look forward at what’s possible for us now. There is huge medicine to be had in this in-between space. It’s the chrysalis the caterpillar wraps itself up in before becoming the glorious butterfly. I’m not entirely sure what goes on in there, but I’m sure it’s not pretty. The time where we are neither out of a particular death cycle yet not quite in the delivery room can be quite unpleasant to say the least.
I know what it’s like to want to move on quickly into the fun, creative endeavors we are planning in our heads. We want everything delivered to our front door, and we want it now. I also know what it’s like to not quite be emotionally or mentally prepared for this next phase. There is frustration, confusion, and falling on our asses again and again. That’s what it takes to learn. As much as it’s trained in us to be perfect human specimens, we tend to integrate things into our nervous systems better by fucking it up and trying it again.
So much of life is not about whether you’re good or bad, or right or wrong, or can afford or not afford – it’s just about timing.
A.A. Gill
There is a delicate balance involved in elevating ourselves to the next level while simultaneously cultivating a beginner mindset, embodying both the student and the teacher. We must learn to be patient with the process, one of my least favorite words in the English dictionary, as it is so very difficult to do. Honor what you’re in now, whatever that may be. Give yourself some compassion. Life is difficult and often unfair, but we don’t have to struggle through it. It’s that whole joy in the process thing everyone keeps talking about.
The Card of Completion
Four of Wands is here to round out the end of Aries season, running from April 10 to April 19. This puts us right into Taurus season, but before we get there can we take a moment to find some joy in the smaller milestones of our lives? The fours in the tarot represent the foundation of a container in which to nurture our root systems, the self-supporting structures in our own lives. We must have some law and order so that we can accomplish things, but at the same time there must be some play thrown in there as well. The point of living is to actually live not merely to survive, which is what I’ve been doing my whole life.
The last session I had with my current therapist (mind you I’ve had three) we spoke about the concept of heaven on earth. I’m not super religious, so these conversations usually end up with me asking some dumb questions about the Bible. This one was different in the sense that I knew I wasn’t coming back that next week. Now I am not one of those people who wants the apocalypse to come and save me from this hell hole. I am not sure I believe that there is somewhere better for us to go, and I am sure that this teaching was used to make the lowly peasants feel better in their current situation as opposed to helping them get out of it. I obviously have some opinions on the matter. The question more became: how do I get those feelings of sweet peace now?
There’s no place like home.
Dorothy Gale, played by Judy Garland, The Wizard of Oz
This card, the Four of Wands, is all about homecoming. It’s about coming back to yourself, and finding the bliss that is already here. I’m not going to sit here and say that everything is rainbows and sunshine all the time, because that would be leaving out an enormous part of the human experience. There will be trials in which to overcome. There will be hurdles along the path that we are travelling. An obstacle, however, is an opportunity that holds everything. It provides us with evidence that we can, in the words of Glennon Doyle, “do hard things.” The trick to prospering is to attempt these difficult moments with hot passion and a cool head, simple yet not an easy thing to do.
Mad love, Jenna
Deck credit: Rider-Waite Tarot Deck
