I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Venus recently went direct. Maybe it has something to do with this new project/journey I’m on with the Patreon. Maybe it’s just me coming to terms with the way that I want to interact with the world. I don’t really know. Maybe a combination of all three, laced with a bit of animosity toward our Puritanical culture as a whole.
I used to think that we were out here in search of our one true love, our soulmate that will fill us up for a lifetime. That was such a Disney way of thinking, that my Prince Charming was out there somewhere waiting for me to get rescued from the evils of my life. This too was a lie put on us by society. For one, I had to save myself, as there was no white horse on which to ride into the sunset. Nor do I still believe that one person has the capacity to be our everything. That is a lot of pressure to put on one person. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself, to have to be that for someone else.
I’m beginning to understand that we need various types of relationships in our lives, with varying degrees of connectivity mixed in. It’s a bit confusing at first, but I have often talked of putting people on pedestals. And I don’t mean the glorious godlike platform in which to idolize people. I mean the pedestals that exist in our own personal lives. We have relationships of all types: family, friends, lovers. But what about all the people in between that we also care about, yet they maybe don’t fit into this preconceived mold of what our society deems appropriate?
As I explore these newfound thoughts surrounding my own relationships, I have found some of the most obscure ones to be the most fulfilling. Some of those people may not even know the impact they have had on me, although I do try my best to communicate that. I often don’t realize that I, myself, have made some sort of impact on the lives of others. Only when someone dares to share that with me, which is few and far between. I know myself it’s not easy, to thank someone for helping to pull you out of a dark place, or merely your head out of your own ass sometimes. But gosh do we need more of that in our world.
What if we could put aside our preconceived notions about what our lives are supposed to look like? What if we could just welcome the connections we make without having to stuff them into some sort of box? What if we could just love each other within the spaces that we have created for ourselves? Why does it all have to be so black and white?
I want to live in the grey areas, the spaces where it maybe isn’t so clear cut. I am finding that those who are willing to sit in that space with me, those are the people that truly see me for who I am, in all of its messiness. That to me is what it’s all about, making connections and honoring people for who they really are. Those are the relationships I truly do care about, the ones I want to foster more of in my life. Thank you for being a friend.
Mad love, Jenna
