There has been a lot of death in my life recently.
Marty was a guy who travelled the world, rode his bike across the country, and slammed on his brakes on the interstate to save a turtle from getting smushed. He died while doing something he loved to do; he had a heart attack while riding his bike.
Carla was a girl who was always smiling, lived for the moment, and loved everyone with her full heart. She died with a close friend of hers; they were hit by a semi while backing out of the driveway.
I started to think about them and their lives while I was running. For some reason when I run, my head clears and I can actually think.
I realized that both of these people lived their lives. They didn’t stand on the sidelines and watch other people live like I do. I can sit here all day and think of a million reasons why I can’t or won’t or don’t have time. I can sit here and blame my anxiety for holding me back.
Really! It’s just me. I am my own roadblock. So here goes my pledge to myself…
I pledge allegiance to myself,
My heart and my head as a whole,
Under all the stars in the sky
With love and grace for always.
This is what I pledge for myself. This is what Marty and Carla did. I will allow myself to grieve, but not dwell. They wouldn’t like that, and it’s not good for me to dwell.
This is how I intend to live. I want to dance like to one is watching. I want to sing like no one is listening. I want to love with a full heart and an open mind. I want a simple life, present and in the moment.
XOXO – Jenna
