Four Other F-Words

One thing I learned very early on in my therapy/wellness journey, or whatever we are calling it these days, is that when I get super anxious my body switches over into the sympathetic nervous system. It sounds nice, right? Sympathy. That was a terrible choice in word usage to whomever decided on that option. It’s the flight or fight response that we all know so well. Did you know that there are two other responses? Freeze and fawn.

I know all four of these F-words oh so very well, because I have done them all numerous times over my many years on the planet Earth. Fawn was one I adopted very early on in my childhood as a way to cope with my environment. And that trauma response was what led me to becoming an extraordinary people-pleaser, a doormat if you will. I probably should have recognized that as a sign that something wasn’t right when I screamed at my friend to tell him to stop being a doormat. Projection much?

Traumas & Triggers

We’ve all done it. We’ve all gotten triggered by what someone else has said or done. We’ve all lashed out in inappropriate ways out of our own place of hurt. I know damn well that it’s not just me. Here is what they don’t teach you, (unless you pay out the ass for therapy like I did) that trigger is where you need to go. It’s telling you that something needs to be addressed, whether that be through journaling, dancing, burning rituals or taking a baseball bat to a tree.

Side note: Women tend to carry trauma in their hips, which is why dancing helps, specifically twerking. Somatic therapy teaches a technique called shaking, which is similar to what animals do out in the wild. My cats do it. When something startles them, they shake their whole body after. And then they move the fuck on. They don’t sit there and analyze the whole situation like we do. That is a human trait.

It’s hard. And it royally sucks to feel all those yucky emotions that you wanted to pretend weren’t there. We try to make the “bad” emotions go away, so that we can make room for the “good” emotions. What we truly need to do is to stop labelling emotions in that way. It’s just information, a constant feedback loop. They are involuntary responses to outside stimuli, so can we please stop controlling them? This is an activity that will just keep you spinning around in circles much like a dog chasing its tail.

Into the Thick of It

So what the fuck are we actually supposed to do when the trigger hits, because we all know it will? Stop. Don’t react. Slow down. Think. This sounds easy, but it’s not. It’s simple, the concept at least, but not the actual practice of it. For me this looks like taking a bird’s eye view of the situation. What actually happened? Am I in danger, or is this a re-action from a past incident that maybe I should investigate further?

I couldn’t for the life of me figure this out on my own. I needed a professional, but I acknowledge that not everyone has the access to this privilege. I am going to be honest. There were a lot of days where she just called me out on my bullshit. I mean, we talked through it and made sure that I left understanding that failing at things or just being straight ignorant doesn’t make you a shitty person. It makes you a human.

I still fuck this up on the regular. I have spent many years wiring those brain cells into a specific path, so this may take a while. Think of it like cutting a new trail in the woods. It’s going to take some time for that trail to be visible, and it takes maintenance. Every year that shit grows back. Every day we have new shit thrown at us. Keep the machete sharpened.

Meal Prep for Anxiety

What in the hell does meal prep have to do with any of this? Well, I’ll tell you. When you are in the midst of those F-word responses, your digestion shuts down. Your body says I don’t need to process food right now when you are being chased by a lion. It puts all of its energy into surviving, which is also exhausting and burns a shit ton of calories. Now you have burned up all of your energy stores, and if you aren’t replenishing them then your blood sugar is going to crash, which then increases your anxiety.

I notice this after I go for a long run. I don’t want to eat for a while. I have to actually spend time calming myself back down in order to eat my next meal, which I do in the form of stretching. The problem exists when I am really, truly anxious. I can only eat certain foods. It’s weird. I physically cannot swallow food to the point where I either vomit out of panic, or I have to force-feed myself. I make sure to keep easy-to-digest options that are clean (not-processed) and nutrient dense. I am also neurodivergent and will forget to drink water. It’s a whole fucking thing.

Here are my current favorites that I do most weeks:

• hardboiled eggs
• almonds
• apples
• hummus
• Chomp’s bars, think the healthy version of Slim Jims
• Larabars, a better granola bar situation
• Simple Mills crackers
• smoothie supplies, an easy way to sneak in extra veggies
• dark chocolate, that I have to hide from Ben

Another favorite thing to do is to spatchcock a chicken to eat throughout the week. It’s only the two of us here, so we can usually get a few meals out of it. I also use the bones to make some pretty gelatinous bone broth with the Instant Pot. That thing is fucking amazing.

All you do is take some kitchen shears and cut the backbone off the chicken. Save that for the bone broth later. I just throw it in the freezer usually. Now flip that bad boy over and press down like you are giving it CPR to flatten it out. Some cracking of the bones may occur. Give it an olive oil massage and rub it down with your favorite seasoning blend. Forty-five minutes at 400F later, you have yourself a cooked bird for the week. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Anyone seen Attack the Block?

Mad love, Jenna

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