Do you remember when you were a kid, and you would lay in your backyard while the clouds rolled by? You would stare up at the sky and try to figure out what shape the cloud was forming. Look it’s a happy face! That one looks like a mouse! Life was so easy, and relaxing.
Somewhere along the line, our lives got very busy doing all the life things that we are “supposed to be doing.” I should go to college, get married, buy a house, have 2.5 children and a dog named Spot. I like cats, and I don’t want kids. People always tell me I should go on vacations and travel more. Travelling is hard. (See this post.) I would rather stay home. I should have a decent job with a nice office, and work from 9am to 5pm. I tried that once, and I hated it.
I don’t know if it was a book, a podcast, social media, or a friend, but something finally clicked for me. Great news! You aren’t “supposed to” do anything. All of your “supposed to’s” are things that you believe. They are beliefs that you have created throughout your entire life, childhood and adulthood, through family, community, society, and the government.
Signals, whether verbal or nonverbal, were picked up as a child on how to stay safe in the world. As a child you constantly asked “Why?” to try to understand the world around you. Everything you looked at, touched, heard, and interacted with influenced you as a person in some way, including beliefs (both positive and negative) about yourself and the world around you.
Limiting Beliefs
Did you know that you can change a belief that you no longer want? You have actually already done it numerous times throughout your life, probably without even realizing it. Think about it. You believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy when you were a child.
When new information was presented to you as you got older, you changed that belief. As an adult you no longer believe in the Easter Bunny. See. You have already done it at least once, which means that you are fully capable of doing it again.
There are four main parts to changing one’s beliefs: old belief, confidence in old belief, new data, and confidence in new data. I am sure you can see that education really is the key to all of this. How can anyone grow and learn without educating themselves about things that are outside of their sphere of knowledge?
Historically we have physically had to move ourselves to a new location to experience something different. Then radio, television, magazines, the Internet, and social media all brought that outside world right into our homes.
But if you look even further back, people spent a lot more time reflecting and listening to themselves. Yoga and mediation date back further than the Western concept of religion. We lost that thoughtful time to our neverending todo lists, and our need to be just like everyone else. We just had to fit in with the Jones’.
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Self-reflection is just another aspect of the educational process. As I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on myself, I have learned that I am not living in alignment with my beliefs. That is due to the fact that they are changing because of new information. It feels quite liberating, but it is also rather painful. You almost grieve those old beliefs while the ones settle in. At the same time a weight seems to lift off your chest.
Liberating Truth
The idea of change seems so impossible, terrifying sometimes. I have never seen the other side of that mountain before. I have never even been close to the top. It just seems so daunting. This is where self-sabotage and excuses come into play.
An excuse is a behavior we do to limit our abilities, a handicap. Doubt, fear, lack of motivation and pain are the four main reasons people create excuses for themselves, and one of the main underlying factors of self-sabotage. You may not even realize you are doing it. You could be subconsciously keeping yourself small, limiting yourself based on those beliefs.
Fun fact:
Your mind will do whatever you tell it to do.
Jenna Yolton
Everything you believe is based on a story you tell yourself. (Oh the Stories We Tell Ourselves!) Your brain will even pinpoint examples to prove you right. If you believe you are insignificant, you will actually keep yourself small by the decisions you make. But if you change that belief into one of significance and worthiness, you will eventually climb that mountain.
The pain that I feel right now is a comfortable pain, I am familiar with it. I am used to it. I can acknowledge that this is where I am sabotaging myself now. I am letting the fear take control of the reins. In effect, I am choosing to give away my control.
I have only recently started to understand that liberation lives in what scares you. If you can lean into the fear, it actually becomes less scary. The more you lean into it, the more you will learn about where that fear really came from. That knowledge brings an understanding. Understanding doesn’t necessarily take the fear away, although it very well could. What it does is open your mind up for curiosity on what else is out there.
We can’t become who we need to be by remaining who we are.
Oprah Winfrey
Now that I have recognized the reality of the situation, (AKA I am worthy and deserving of being on top of my own mountain.) this side of the mountain is no longer serving me. And now I am really curious as to what is on the other side. Is the grass really greener?
