As the Irish folklore goes, a witch could turn herself into a cat. On August 17, she transformed for the ninth time, and was unable to turn herself back. This is where you get the saying that a cat has nine lives. There is your fun fact of the day!
Witch Trials
We are still burning witches at the stake, you know? We are just doing it in a more technologically advanced way. We are no longer supposed to physically burn people, but thanks to Kelso from That 70s Show, we are effectively killing each other none-the-less.
The Urban Dictionary describes a ‘burn’ as “a usually sarcastic and insulting comment, devised to burn someone’s emotions.” As someone who has been both severely burned once and ‘burned’ more times than I can effectively count, I can assure you that the physical burns are much easier to get over. The emotional burns, those wounds cut so much deeper.
Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You separates trauma into two parts: type A and type B trauma. I have also heard it called Big T and little t trauma. It’s the same thing. Type A trauma comes from the “absence of good things we should all receive, things that give us emotional stability.” Type B trauma “comes from bad things,” fractures of the mind.
A few sessions of EMDR helped me heal emotionally from the propane explosion, although I still refuse to stand nearby when propane anything is being lit. That initial whoosh sound still makes me jump. That is a prime example of the Big T trauma. Type A trauma is layered like an onion. Every time I think I have figured this shit out, another layer is exposed.
Secrecy
I was one of the elite few who held many of the secrets. It never felt right in my gut. I was having panic attacks so severe that I was waking up in the middle of the night to take Xanax. That place, that lifestyle broke me. I felt so completely alone there. I was damaged, and I caused damage.
Things were withheld from me as well. It was all too confusing, and I couldn’t stand it. I had to know what was happening at all times around me. Ask any bartender: We know all the conversations going on around us. We know who needs a drink, we know who is fucking who, and we know who doesn’t wash their hands after they go to the bathroom.
I needed that type of control in my life, because that is what was missing from my childhood. I never knew what was going on around me. Later in life I would self-sabotage by creating my own chaos. I wasn’t learning the lessons, so I had to go down hard. I had to get blown up to get it. Talk about learning shit the hard way. I 1/10 do not recommend.
Curiosity Killed the Cat
At what point in our lives did we go from encouraging each other to be curious and ask questions to telling each other that the other person didn’t need to know that piece of information. Now before you get all sassy, I am not talking about private information. I hide quite bit from most people myself, despite how often I am on the interwebs.
I have asked people point blank why they didn’t tell me something that I deemed imperative for my understanding of a certain situation. “You didn’t need to know that.” Well obviously I did, or I wouldn’t be asking questions. We gatekeep each other, and then we get upset when the other person doesn’t do it to your specific liking. What kind of bull-shittery it this?
We are taught to be secretive, to use people to our advantage in order to get ahead. It’s the way to the top! It’s the way to be successful. What you are really saying is that is the way to make money in our capitalistic society, and you have to do it aggressively, the manly way. Please excuse me. I just threw up a little.
That bitch has 9 lives. Let her be curious.
Jenna Yolton
We could learn about each other. We could learn to lift each other up, instead of tearing each other down. We could choose community over competition. There is enough fighting out there in this world. It all starts with a bit of curiosity.
Mad love, Jenna
