New moons are like the Aces in tarot. They represent the end of one stage in life and the beginning of something entirely new. We can sometimes forget that we are on an endless wheel, one that is cycling us through this life. We are in a constant state of rebirth and dying, of decaying and sprouting anew. It can be an emotional time to say the least, and with Cancer being our cardinal water sign of the year, this crab can help us shuffle through the sand dunes that keep popping up everywhere. As we know, new moons can direct us onto an untrodden path, at least one that may be unfamiliar to us. The good news is that there is probably someone out there who has been on a similar course. Something I learned very early on in therapy, due to my incessant curiosity and the need to feel as though I am not alone in this world, whatever you are going through, it’s normal. And if it’s not “normal,” whatever that means these days anyways, it’s common. That I can promise you.
We like to think that we are special, that no one could possibly know what we are going through. And you are special! However the human experience doesn’t actually vary that much from person to person, even if it looks different on the outside. We all have moments of sadness, of heartache, of wanting to rage against the machinery controlling our lives. Okay maybe that last one was just me getting my anger out at the current state of our country, and I know I am not the only person who feels this way. I am an emotional being, and this is a heavy time in our lives. Cancer season asks us to lean into these difficult emotions so that we don’t get stuck in them. Once you process it all, that is the time to leave the soft shell and enter the hard shell, the armor required to get you to the place that you need to be.
The key here is to feel all those watery emotions before you hitch a ride on the Chariot, our tarot card for Cancer season. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” (Viktor E. Frankl) To break it down even further, feel your feelings before they feel you. You don’t want anger sitting in the driver’s seat. Nothing good has ever come from it, at least not in my personal experience. Mostly I have just found regret, and often the need to apologize for my outrageous behavior. When you can sit in the depths of it all, you may just learn a thing or two, about yourself and about the world.
The response is where the gold is. It’s the place that you can effect the most change, because it is more rational. We have these two opposing sides of ourselves: the emotional side and the logical side. Our modern culture has taught us to prefer one over the other, but the sweet spot lies in the in-between, in the grey area. It’s the merging of the feminine and the masculine that makes us whole, that makes us act from a place of sanity instead of despair, from a place of kindness rather than hatred. I try really hard not to hold onto that anger for too long, but dammit if it isn’t especially difficult these days. I try really hard to come from a place of compassion, but they don’t make it easy. Do they?
Shame is a tool that is often wielded as a way to manipulate us into acting a certain way, into being a certain type of person. It has been used for centuries by ruling classes, but also in the individual family systems. Sex is a major one. Lilith if you remember was Adam’s first wife. She walked out of the Garden of Eden for refusing to lay under Adam, never to return again. Lilith knew her power and worth were equal to that of a man, and made that fact known. So out she went, and in came Eve as the second wife of Adam. This was of course from the Hebrew Bible. The Christian Bible removed much of her story, which makes sense since technically that would have been a divorce and we all know how Catholics feel about that.
Just like a man to put himself above all others. This is nothing new, yet it is something that we must continue to contend with. We have this type of patriarchal thinking in us all, much like racism from living in that sea for our whole lives. We have to continue learning and unlearning so that we can evolve into something better, something more inclusive to us all. Lilith never intended to be deemed a “night hag” or a “screech owl.” Claiming the dark as evil is just another lie they’ve told us to manipulate our behaviors. They use fear-mongering as their main tactic, one that is still used today to get us to comply. What they don’t tell you is that without the dark there can’t be light. Without Lucifer there is no one to blame; there is no scapegoat. They have to create these opposing life forces, because without them they have nothing to preach about at the pulpit.
Taking off the rose-colored glasses you have been wearing your whole life may seem like a lucid dream at first. Like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, this isn’t Kansas anymore Toto. The becomes much less black and white, shining a light on some of the ugly parts of ourselves. I’ve said time and again that no one says you are always going to like yourself. The key part of all this is to not get swept up in the waves of these emotions.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are okay with what happened. It means that you are no longer willing to let the situation have that much bearing on your life. It’s for your own personal healing, because let’s face it, there will always be someone who is not going to like you for that thing you said to them back in the sixth grade. And someone probably said something hurtful to you that you just can’t seem to get out of you head. The truth of the matter is that you probably don’t even remember that thing you said, and that person who did that thing to you may not have any idea that it even bothered you so much. Seeing things and people for what they truly are can be devastating to some extent, but it can be quite freeing as well. It could be just the thing that shows you who they really are, and if they are toxic, than you know to cut them out of your life.
Mad love, Jenna
To see more…
Cancer Cosplay | Lilith | Whorothy (video) (photoset)
