In my never-ending quest for living life a little less anxious, I came across the concept of how physical clutter can lead to a more cluttered mind. I started looking around my house at all the stuff I own. Thoughts immediately flooded into my head like, “You can’t get rid of that. It was a gift,” or “It’s been in my family for years.” I stopped myself. I asked myself why I am having such a hard time getting rid of things, some things that I don’t even like. The answer was simple: anxiety.
Now just because I said the answer was simple, doesn’t mean that it is easy. In fact, it’s twofold. One part is the physical anxiety of letting things go. And the other part is the mental anxiety of having stuff everywhere. Don’t worry! I am going to break it down for you.
Physical Anxiety
When I say physical anxiety, I do not mean panic attacks. What I am talking about is the physical act of letting things go. I came across the book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, sometime last year in passing. I randomly had the idea to ask my Mom for a copy for Christmas. I have only recently gotten a chance to read it, but man did it make an impact! I read it in one sitting.
When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.
Marie Kondo, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
When I closed the book I started looking around my house again, and something just clicked for me. I am putting all of my emotional attachment to stuff. And I using this emotional attachment as an excuse to not have to make decisions about this stuff. If there is an attachment to this sweater, then I have to keep it, right?
Wrong! It’s just what I said, an excuse. Do you really think your Grandma wants you to keep that ugly sweater in the back of your closet if you aren’t going to wear it? Guess what? She doesn’t. Get rid of it.
Now I did not go around my house just throwing things away. I have to detach the emotion from the item. Marie Kondo is very specific in her book about the order in which you should tidy. First clothes, then books, papers, komono (miscellaneous items), and finally momentos.
Considering that I have a crapload of clothes, (Remember I have anxiety about letting things go.) I had to break it down even further into subcategories. First up was tops, every single one I own. I threw them all into a giant pile on my living room floor. I had no idea how many I owned. It’s unreal. Well, now what? I don’t even think at this point I could fit it all back in my closet.
One of my favorite sections of the book is the part on selection criteria, AKA what you plan on keeping. She says to ask this one simple question: Does it spark joy? But you also have to hold the item while asking the question. This part is huge. Four giant bags of trash later, I was convinced. Now I am anxious to do more. (Oh geez.)
Mental Anxiety
Marie Kondo also speaks in the book about how physical clutter can contribute to mental clutter. Mental clutter can lead to, you guessed it, anxiety. She goes on to explain that when your physical space is tidy, then you have no choice but to focus inward. It forces you to deal with your shit! Not the clothes and piles of paper. I mean the shit inside of you that you have been avoiding.
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
Lao Tzu
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
There is another part of this story that is giving me some mental anguish. I hate throwing things away. I mean I really hate putting things into the landfill. None of the things that I discarded, have actually been thrown away. Most of it will be taken to the thrift store. I did curate a select few items to put in my Poshmark shop.
Yes, My Mom Dresses Me
Ask my friends what they ask me after giving me a compliment on my outfit. They say, “Your Mom bought that for you, didn’t she?” Yes. Yes she did. Rarely do I ever get compliments on things that i pick out for myself. I’m not mad about it, quite the opposite in fact. It’s pretty awesome not having to dress myself. (LOL!)
Everything on this page was specifically picked out by my mom. If an item brings you joy, it can be yours. And if you use the referral code “jenyolton” when you sign up for the Poshmark app, you will get $5 off your first purchase.
