Reminds me of that movie, Two Weddings and a Funeral. I never actually saw that movie, but I guess the sentiment remains. How do you celebrate someone’s birthday, while on the same day mourning the loss of two lives? That’s a lot to handle.
It may seem strange, but there is a weird beauty in it all. It reminds me that we are only on this planet for a short amount of time. It reminds me to make the best of it.
I remember wanting to die, wanting it all to end. I remember just wanting to make it all go away. Thank God for therapy. That shit saved my life, more than prescription medications, more than alcohol and drugs.
I think a part of me did die. I have left pieces of me behind, like a trail of breadcrumbs. Or maybe it’s more like ashes, because I have burnt a lot of bridges along the way, some necessary and some I regret. Just like the phoenix rising from the ashes, life goes on. We start a new story. We write a new beginning.
I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt. I have felt tremendous loss before. I have had my heart ripped out of my chest. I understand how hard it is to come back from that. My heart goes out to all my friends today. I love you all.
Mad love, Jenna
