There were days when I had to give myself pep talks just to get out of bed. There were days when I had to force myself to write. There were days when I felt completely overwhelmed and just cried. There were days when I painted a smile on my face to get through the day. There were days when I wanted to give up completely. And I didn’t.
There were day when I leapt out of bed ready to conquer the day. There were days when the writing flowed out of my fingertips and onto the page. There were days of pure joy and adulterated laughter. There were days of feeling proud of myself. There were days when I didn’t have to pretend to be okay. Because I am.
This tattoo isn’t just some cheeky comment about me leaving the restaurant industry, although there is a little bit of that too. It took me 5 years of working 12 to 15 hour days, 6 days a week, to get here. It wasn’t easy. And I will be the first to admit that I made a lot of mistakes along the way.
I fell, and I fell hard. I had to comes to terms with some very ugly parts of myself that I had never really seen before. Once you see yourself for who you truly are, it becomes very difficult to ignore. I had become someone I didn’t want to be, someone who deep down felt alien to me.
That’s the thing about us humans. We don’t always get it right the first time, including the trajectory of our lives. I would go so far as to say that we usually don’t. It’s the compassion and kindness that we give to both ourselves and to others that really makes a difference as to what type of person you want to be or become.
Mad love, Jenna
